Matthew Crawford

When I look back at the last 10 years of my life I find it extraordinary that I should be sitting here trying to explain what has lead me to be starting my first year as a Marist Seminarian.

My name is Matthew Crawford and I am 27 years old, I am the second youngest in a family of 5. I grew up in a strong Catholic family and was blessed with all the opportunities that life could offer. However as soon as I got the chance I turned my back on my faith and went out to try and grab everything that life could offer me.

My time at high school and university were basically spent following the crowd and leading a life that was aimed at sucking pleasure out of all that I did. My outlook on life was very much centred on myself

When I travelled overseas I began to get a faint sense of God trying to break down all the walls I had built up around myself I started to pray the rosary again and in very small ways tried to let God in.

I began to realise how empty life is when you place yourself at the centre

When I arrived back in New Zealand I felt it was time to try and put God first and make an attempt to lead a life more pleasing to God. What a shock I got when I realised all I had to do was ask God to help me and he would give me everything I needed.

During this time I started to feel God calling me to give my life to him, I was just unsure what he wanted of me. When my sister phoned me out of the blue one day and asked me had I ever considered becoming a priest, I felt a little jolt of what can only be described as clarity.

The next day I was at my computer and was reading different peoples' experiences of priesthood, and all that it entailed, and I was overwhelmed with the power of God's presence, it felt as if God was smiling at me.

So much of my life and my personality traits made sense right at that moment. God had been calling me from the very beginning and the reason he allowed me to wallow in sin for a big part of my life, was because he knew that I had to experience it to understand its emptiness.

How can I resist a God so loving he allows me to turn completely from him, just so I might have the chance to come back and find my true rest in him?

I pray everyday that I will keep God my focus, and always put my trust in him.

May the spoken words of my mouth,
The thoughts of my heart,
Win favor in your sight, 0 Lord,
My rescuer, my rock. Psalm 19:15